QUESTION
I engaged in a 3-way with a guy who is HIV positive. I rimmed both guys and fingered both. The non-positive guy fingered us both.  I am a little concerned about the sequence--he fingered the positive guy first and then me. I am sure the risk must be low but I am paranoid. The positive guy has an undetectable viral load and T-cell count over 1000. I am just a bit freaked because the positive guy came along with the other guy when we met. I was not planning a 3-way. It was my first and perhaps last. I am in an occasionally open relationship of 10 years, and would never want to compromise my partner in anyway.

ANSWER
The chance of getting or giving anyone HIV through rimming or fingering someone is very slim. In order for HIV to pass between persons, there has to be body fluids (blood or semen) infected with HIV going into another body. That would include unprotected anal sex, vaginal sex, or thru needle/transfusion/direct blood exposure. Most experts believe rimming is safe sex in terms of HIV and there have been no cases reported of HIV transmission through oral-anal sex.

Oral-anal sex can transmit other STDs though: shigella, amebiasis, cryptosporidium, giardia, and Hepatitis A. All of these illnesses are transmitted via contaminated fecal matter. You can use a cut-up condom, household plastic wrap or a dental dam for rimming to lessen your risks. Your best bet, though, is to have both partners wash thoroughly with soap and warm water both before and after sex. Getting vaccinated for hepatitis A and B and regular STD checkups are another good way to stay healthy

To your health,
Dr. K